There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I need moral support for this bender
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
