i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Who died my cat blue again?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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