I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize