i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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