Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
