He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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