Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
