i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
