I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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