A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
