this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
