The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
