No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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