Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
