I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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