I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
