paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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