Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize