so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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