people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize