Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He felt like a one man threesome
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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