After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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