32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
