yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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