life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
