i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
