Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
