Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When are your genitals available?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
