My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
