can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
40s are totally the cure
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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