Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
As shirtless as possible
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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