The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
