he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
