I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
