I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
