You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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