So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize