We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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