How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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