So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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