Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
