She's JV to your varsity
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
