I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
