Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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