we're blogging at a bar
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish you could order shots online.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
