you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
there's paper in my vomit.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
