I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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