rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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