I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
A+ Viking dick
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