Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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