first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Me too!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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