there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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