Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
