Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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