I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
