I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
