Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
