so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
